Weeellll

I managed to do ZERO P90X workouts in the last 2 weeks. AH-mazing. I have run several times with and without my husband. WHY!?! Why can't I stick with this? Starting fresh later today. Picking up where I should be...not backing up to what I missed. We'll see if that works.

And on a side note: I have deleted my last post because I'm afraid it was a bit melodramatic and I apparently did not convey things well. I am not doubting my salvation. I am frustrated that I am not as "spiritual" as others or as I would like to be. And I have no power on my own to fix that. And that frustrates me.

I also struggle with whether or not God will actually answer my prayers. I have a skewed view of him (*ahem* I have discussed this at length with some of you) as having favorites and acting accordingly. I know this is FALSE. However, I have had this view reinforced through several Christian leaders who show favoritism. Leaders that I trust/trusted. Yes. I am comparing God to fallen humans...but it's my frame of reference, and I'm working on it.

That being said, I had a wonderful time in prayer this morning and am thoroughly enjoying studying Hebrews.