Radio Silence is Ending!

Since my last post was in early June I am incredibly doubtful that anyone is still reading or checking up on this blog. But that's ok. I need it as an outlet, so an outlet it shall be.

Since my last post I have continued on in therapy and completely weaned off of Xanax and the wonderful sleeping pills that we had finally found that worked for me. I mostly sleep alright. There are still nights I'm too keyed up to sleep. But for the most part if I wind down properly and remember to take my magnesium pills I get some decent rest.

Therapy has been reduced from once a week to once every 3 weeks. I am working on managing my anxiety/pride/control idol...which all seemed to be wrapped up with the same ugly threads.

This summer I managed to lose about 8 pounds....whoo hoo!!

This fall I have managed to gain it all back...plus some. Sad times.

In an effort to regain the lost ground and persevere on toward jeans sizes I haven't seen in a decade we have purchased a juicer and I am writing my own work out schedule. My goal is to daily (or at least weekly) post my journal (which I have just spent an hour creating).

Thanks for loving me well.

Much love to you all. XOXO

I CAN'T SLEEP

And that makes me so angry.

A Xanax and a Tylenol PM and I am still tossing
and turning
and ruminating

More Steps

3 days of cardio in a row.

Started seeing a therapist today.

Feeling truly HOPEful for the first time in months!

Beautiful Day

Hello, Summer!

I'm not sure why, but I think I'm having an attitude change. Maybe it's summer. I don't really know. But I am excited to get back to the gym and to start eating healthy. I'm not sure what that's going to look like. I've got friends doing the Clean Cleanse...but let's be honest. I'm not gonna stick to something like that.

Here's to a beautiful summer of getting beautifully healthy!

Progress

I have started a running program, Couch to 5K. I love that it has an app on my iPhone that tells me when to run and when to walk.  And it plays over my music. This week I am up to running six sets of 1.5 minutes with 2 minute walking breaks. The weather has been ah-mazing for running. Hoping I keep this up when the temp dials back up.

Gen Sin

I have realized in the last few weeks that I have some generational sin ("gen sin" - it's a cute rhyme but an ugly disease I will be glad to be rid of once we reach Glory!) I need to deal with and allow God to remove.  I am not saying "generational sin" to avoid taking responsibility for this sins, I am just recognizing that the sins I am battling have been battled by other women in my family. Maybe I can be part of their healing, too.

May

This week, had I stayed on track, I would have finished P90X. Clearly, I did not stay on track.